I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
