Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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