Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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