I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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