Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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