low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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