Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
