We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
