I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
