it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
