If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
