So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
