I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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