you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
