if you like me you must not know who I am
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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