she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
