I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
handjob tips. give me some.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
