i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
