I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
