Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
no, he came in my armpit
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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