I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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