The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
