some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
