just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
where are you?
Hypothermia
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
