idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
