I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
