I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
