I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
