we made out on top of his cat.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
