I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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