So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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