Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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