btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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