My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
