I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
