I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
