WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
