You kept calling me your small dog last night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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