The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
