Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
