so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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