I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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