Joe is yelling at the trees again.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
