Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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