she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
