The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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