i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
