Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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