I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
