It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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