question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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