The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
